I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
handjob tips. give me some.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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