i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
