weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize