why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Where are you guys?
Drunk
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
