Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
