Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
