for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
