her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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