dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
