let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
