Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
