Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
