Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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