You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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