an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize