Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
