My brain says no but my pants say off.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
