it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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