I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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