One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
