Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
