all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
