I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
