Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
