So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
