I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
