Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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