I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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