I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
