The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
