He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
