I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
