talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
