he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
