Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
