If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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