once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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