i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize