i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
