ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize