I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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