oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Randomize
