Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
