I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize