no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize