I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
