I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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