I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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