no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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