Nicole vs. Life
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
