Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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