yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
