As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
