i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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