the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I skipped work to stalk him.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
