I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
