So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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