Porn is love you can see.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
