do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
