shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
