Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
