haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
