At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
