we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
