Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize